I'm not gonna doink you or anything

jesuschristvevo:

im not racist i love jack black

"   College kids literally don’t care about walking in the way of cars at school because we’re like “hit me i don’t care pay my tuition.”   "

"Hit me my thesis is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started it"

"Hit me I have a final in an hour and I didn’t study"

"Hit me I’ve been on a 24 hour drinking binge and I’m invincible"

"Hit me. You’re a university vehicle and I’ll get free tuition."

"Hit me I feel like a failure anyway"

(via harrysedwrds)

nudityandnerdery:

divawithanunspoiledagenda:

plumbones:

destiny919:

greenhoused:

which way does a cyclops wing their eyeliner

tumblr user greenhoused is asking the real questions

It doesn’t matter, because Nobody is going to criticize their makeup.

WAS THAT A MOTHER FRACKING ODYSSEY PUN

Well, it wasn’t a motherfucking Oedipus pun, that’s for sure.

lieutenantstilinski:

edenidoigo:

whalegod:

tell me a secret

One time during class my drama/english teacher, who’s a devout vegan and all about not killing animals, accidentally stepped on a ladybug. He froze up and slowly cradles it in his hand and he was so heartbroken and started quoting Hamlet.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was a red m&m.

I can’t breathe

"   IF YOU ARE NOT PREPARED TO RAISE A DISABLED CHILD, OR A TRANS CHILD, OR A GAY OR BI OR PAN CHILD, IF YOU ARE NOT PREPARED TO LOVE AND SUPPORT YOUR CHILD UNCONDITIONALLY, DO NOT HAVE A CHILD.   "
it is 2014. there are no excuses left. (via callmeoutis)

wombflowers:

this is a literal masterpiece. fuck anyone who doesn’t like queen like this is amazing this is genius